And if anyone tells me to be patient again I will blow my top! For the most part, the last few weeks have been just fine. I feel good physically but emotionally I am a time bomb! I am really tired of feeling like a lunatic! I cry at everything...and I have no idea when I will just lose it and and start crying...and I'm talking WAILING....not just tears and sobs....but actual "I need to bury my head in a pillow so no one thinks I've lost it" wailing.
I am so anxious for Hazel to be here and I am trying to be patient. I am looking forward to going into labor...but not labor itself! I have gone through all her drawers for the millionth time. Today I counted her outfits out of boredom....(Daddy I think we may need a few more!) I have turned on her swing and bouncer more times than I can count, and anytime someone comes over I show them every outfit I have for her and show them all her "gear." She will be one swinging, bouncing, strolling baby!
I can't wait to hold my little Bird. I can't wait to smell her, and kiss her sweet head, and put her toes in my mouth...I can't wait to look at her little hands and nibble on her nose. I love her more than I ever thought was humanly possibly and I cannot imagine loving her more but I know I will...and I can't imagine how my heart will hold it all. See?! I'm crying again! Tom and I are already trying to figure out how on earth we will ever be able to let her go. I try to imagine how it is at all possible for me to parent her as well as my parents parented me.
Spring is here...and I am watching our backyard turn from a brown yuckiness to green green green! I can't wait until the trees are full of leaves, the flowers are blooming and it is warm enough to sit out on our rocking chairs with Hazel and enjoy it all.
Well, I'm gong to go bury my head in a pillow now and pray that Hazel comes very soon....
